Why did God even make me?

Have you ever wondered why God even made you? I have asked myself this many times, but even more sometimes, why did God make me a mother. I mess it up more and more. I seem to make someone in the house upset pretty often, I can't seem to cook the right things, and I make everyone do things they don't want to do. This came to me this evening, and I had to write it down, so that next time I can go back and remind myself of these truths.
I often pray that the children will see Christ through me. Maybe that not the right prayer. If you could see Christ through me, than I would not be filled with anything, I would be hollow I would be "see through."  Instead my prayer should be Lord fill me that I might be a reflection of You.
Like any parent I want to be a good example to my children, but I fail everyday, many times a day. I can't be the example these children need me to be, only Christ can be their true example. If I "could" be that good example for them, than the outcome of their adulthood would have been based upon my example, instead of Christ's example and grace, it would allow me to take responsibility for their outcome. Instead I know  I can't be this good and perfect example to my children, I only ruin them, if they have learned anything good from me, it is ultimately because the Lord has aloud them to learn it from me, for all good things are from the Lord. If they do turn out to be God fearing adults, I know it won't be because of me, but only because of the Lord grace, His faithfulness and example. I guess what I am trying to say is that my sinfulness and lack of being a good example just magnifies how perfect of an example and faithful God is. So why did God make me... I still don't totally have that answer, but I know He didn't make me and expect me to be perfect.

Focus on what is in front of you right now.

I have said before that my children tend to teach me more than I teach them. Well this morning it happened again. We we're working on Millie's math lesson and she saw the back of one page, and that it had about 75 more addition problems than she is use to; it was just a math drill; well she saw that and could not, and I mean could not focus on the work on the other side of the page. Simple problems like 2+3 she was having a hard time thinking of the answer. In the midst of this I hear that still small voice saying "Marlene you are no different." When I see a possible trial approaching, do I focus on what is in front of me right now, or do I focus on the trial that is yet to come. Often we make our future trials out to me more than they actually will be, just like Millie I didn't make her do all 100 problems and I was right with her to help her through the problems. That's the way God is, often our trials end up being less severe than we dream they will turn out, and the Lord is there to walk us through all the way. 1 Corinthians 10:13 says "no temptation has overtaken you except such as is common to men, but God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will also make the way of escape, that you may be able to bear it." So in Marlene's wording...whatever trial I go through has already been a trail to someone else (basically I am not alone) and, the big point, God is FAITHFUL to help us through our trials. So the verse that come to mind in all of this is Matthew 6:34 "therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things. Sufficient for the day is it's own trouble."
This is a big reason I am thankful we are able to homeschool, not that it happens this way all the time, because it doesn't. In the midst of Millie getting so upset about her, possible, future task I was able to keep calm myself, through the still small voice, and encourage her to not think about the things to come but to focus on the problem in front of her, literally. I am thankful that through the times that I mess up and I don't handle things so calmly, that the Lord still wants to help me to become better, and that today I was the encouragement she needed. Because after all today is all that we have.

M